Home Columnist Before You Say “I DO” with Tope Oginni… Helping singles take the right decisions before marriage (08093260559)  

Before You Say “I DO” with Tope Oginni… Helping singles take the right decisions before marriage (08093260559)  

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Welcome to an Exciting Singles Rendezvous!

Welcome to the first issue of my column in Christian Benefits magazine! I am very excited to launch this column which will inform and inspire you on a monthly basis with all relationship issues. I am very excited to share my knowledge and experience on relationships and marriages. I believe it would be a lot of excitement to put together my knowledge on relationships for the following categories…

  • Single and not quite ready for a relationship
  • Single and ready to start a relationship
  • Already in a relationship
  • Already engaged, in a courtship or married

Whichever category you fall into, there will always be something in here for you to digest. If you are single and not ready for a relationship, you can benefit from this column (it will help you prepare for a great relationship in the future). If you are already married, you can put these principles and tips into practice now – it’s not too late. This column will not only encourage, it also be used to share relationship tips and offers more relationship coaching with practical biblical illustrations.

Before You Say “I DO” with Tope Oginni … helping singles take the right decisions before saying I “DO” is a community created by Tope Oginni for singles to prepare and guide them ahead of the marital journey they are about to embark upon and also for those who have a desire to be healthy and whole in their marriages an homes so they can be all that God created them to be for a single life or in preparation for marriage.

Before You Say “I Do” was created because of the growing population of singles over 25. Because of high rates of divorce, separations and the delay of marriage, many singles are looking for community and tools to help them mature in the knowledge of who they are in Christ and their areas of relationship. If you want to have a healthy relationship, blissful home and prepare for a marriage that will last, you have found the right place. Whether you desire to remain single or want to be prepared for a marriage that lasts, we pray you find the encouragement and resources you need here, because the issues of your heart matter. We’re committed to bringing you all kinds of relationship articles, advice, tips, and true life stories. You will find that it is filled with educational, informational, and helpful relationship tips. Whether you are single or married, there will be something in here for you every month.


Marriage is a beautiful venture that most people can’t wait to embark on the journey. Though, it may sound pleasant that you are about to become Mr. or Mrs. the institution goes beyond the glitz and glamour of the day. Many young people of marriageable age fail to be sincere to themselves, putting feelings before true compatibility. Added pressure from family, parents and friends also complicates things which might lead to someone ending up marrying a wrong partner. There are common situations when a lady knows she’s not compatible with her partner, but ignores all the signs and walks down the aisle with him and the marriage only lasts for a month.

Dear single lady, if you don’t want to make a mistake in choosing who to marry, it is critical for you to know who you are and where you are going. What do I mean? If you are a Christian, do not hide it.  It is your identity; you live like a child of God. You live by the principles of the Kingdom. We have a Kingdom culture. We are different. We don’t do things the way the world would. We do things the way the Word says we should. Many singles always hide their identities from their partners. This is not a good way to start your relationship. From the beginning let him or her know you; what you stand for and your belief. This goes a long way in help to know how to relate with you. Once your identity is defined, your values are also defined. In other words, you relate with the right kind of people, you go to the right places and you make godly choices. You are likely to attract a man who has similar values as yourself and who could be a potential husband.

On the other hand, if you are neither here nor there, you attract all kinds of men. Little wonder unbelievers are the ones seeking your hands in marriage and you are considering them because your identity is not yet defined. As a child of the Kingdom, you should be patient. You know that God has the best in store for you and you trust Him totally because He makes all things beautiful in His time.

Another very important area of consideration before choosing who to marry is to know where you are going. When you know where you are going, you will know which man would be right for you on that journey. It’s just like wanting to go to the U.S.A from Nigeria. What you will take along would be determined by the purpose of your journey and how long you would be there. In other words, if you are clear of the purpose of your journey and the length of your stay in U.S.A, what you need for the journey would be easily defined.

From that illustration, your journey to U.S.A is the journey of your marriage, which is a lifetime and the purpose is to extend the kingdom of God on earth with your spouse (in other words, both of you fulfilling God’s purpose for your lives together). As a result, the need to bring the right person along on the journey is as critical as the journey itself. This is a very critical decision, such that if you choose wrongly, you may not even get to your destination!  When making a choice of who to marry, look beyond who the person is at the moment. Ask yourself, does this man or woman fit into the picture of my future? Can this man or woman help me fulfill the purpose of God for my life? God has a purpose for your life, and it is the responsibility of a husband to cultivate his wife, nurture her and ensure that she blossoms in her purpose. May God guide you in your choice of a partner? Shalom.

We are glad you’re here and look forward to getting to know you! I welcome comments, feedbacks for improvement and true life stories. Are you having any relationship issues and need to talk to someone? Or you have a question about anything related to singleness or relationships; please submit it to Before You Say “I do.” You can call, chat or text with me for relationship counseling and prayers via whatsapp: 08093260559.

Tope Oginni is a USA certified relationship coach and marriage mentor. A Producer, Presenter, a compeer and a writer. She is the Producer and Presenter of a relationship program tagged Before You Say “I DO” on Glorious Vision Television (GVTV). She is a woman with a vision and passion for the youths and singles. Her passion is to transform the lives of singles and those in a relationship.  She is a mentor and a motivator who has helped people improve on their relationships and marital issues through counseling, seminars and her TV Talkshow tagged Before You Say “I DO”. She has helped countless people get through their relationship crisis and issues with her counseling skills.



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